Will House of the Dragon's Ser Criston Cole Is Going Crazy

Will House of the Dragon’s Ser Criston Cole Is Going Crazy

In a show that is absolutely crappy with horrible people, it takes a special kind of jerk to make the viewer stop and say, “Okay, maybe that’s a little a lot, dude.” But somehow Ser Criston Cole manages to do it all the time, like a man determined to win a secret contest for House of the Dragonthe biggest joke.

The latest example of this was in this week’s episode, “The Green Council,” an intense hour describing a swift Iron Throne coup on behalf of Prince Aegon and by extension, Queen Alicent. It’s at the start of this coup, when the Small Council begins to make quick plans to install Aegon as king, that Criston continues his proud tradition of acting like a dingus.

It turns out that Lord Beesbury is one of the few councilors unwilling to replace Rhaenyra as heir, and he’s not silent about it. After he threatens to leave, Ser Criston proceeds to force him back into his seat, but with such force that the old man’s head hits the table and kills him. This accidental murder serves the purposes of the council, so Criston isn’t actually punished, although it’s clear that everyone in attendance thinks he’s a real bastard.

Sir. ser. Wyd. May I recommend a therapist. You can tell them about all the ways you’ve been a resource, and maybe even work through them. Consider:

  • His absolute confusion that Rhaenyra, a young woman who has wanted nothing more than to inherit the Iron Throne, would not want to run away with him and live like a nobody in Dorne.
  • His refusal to deal with the fact that Rhaenyra was… always marry someone elselooked so sullenly at her wedding that when Joffrey suspected he was Rhaenyra’s lover, he kill the man.
  • Holding on to a grudge against his ex to the point that not only does he become her best frenemy’s lackey, but he also bully her children!

To the credit of Fabien Frankel’s performance, every time Criston Cole appears on screen, I swear under my breath and wonder out loud what this complete nincompoop is going to do next. Frankel absolutely nailed the hottie ace-and-switch, transforming from suave Dornish swordsmith to monstrously little ex. Frankel is both very good at coming across as the kind of handsome who is oblivious to his good looks, but also confused at the thought of anyone saying no to his pretty face. It’s a set of talents perfect for portraying Ser Criston Cole’s life as one of the unexamined Hottie Privilege.

What a pity. It didn’t have to be like that for Ser Criston. If only he studied the ways of the himbo as closely as the blade. Being a Kept Boy wouldn’t have been so bad! He might have had a chance to be the only lucky person in King’s Landing.

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