Jauch hardly believes it: Candidate: The penis pump is always too small

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Jauch hardly believes it
Candidate: The penis pump is always too small

By Nina Jerzy

Lidl’s saleswoman was once at Beate Uhse. Jauch feels good stories, he will not be disappointed. “For men, all penis pumps are always too small,” she reveals. The rubber doll police operation follows. “Great”, Jauch is surprised.

What Herta Brandt experienced during her time as a saleswoman at Beate Uhse would have produced a whole show of anecdotes. “If it continues like this, I would like to ask you the question of five million euros,” Günther Jauch said on Monday evening. Because this candidate in “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” perhaps just started her job as a branch manager at Lidl after her parental leave. Customers with unrealistic ideas will bite her on granite. The mother of two has been through too much for that. A sobering realization of her time from the sex shop: “Men can’t estimate their size.”

A B-cup woman would never buy a double-D bra in a store, Brandt shares her first anecdote from the sex shop. With her male clients, however, the motto has always been, “All condoms are too small and won’t fit in all penis pumps.” Jauch was momentarily speechless – not for the last time on this show. Brandt showed no false restraint and gestured to demonstrate the size of the smallest penis pump in her reach at the time. Let’s say: a good 80 centimeters long and 15 centimeters in diameter. For the customers, the conclusion was clear: “That was not enough, that was too small.” The RTL presenter glanced at his lap: “Hmmmm.”

Jauch is happy with the history of the sex shop

However, according to the WWM candidate, these Beate Uhse customers left no doubt about their product choice. It was easy to get into your pants. “But only a mobile phone was brought out and I was shown the photo. Several times. They are completely painless,” reported the candidate from Hanover. Jauch couldn’t believe it and seemed to treat his guest with a little more respect. “Great,” he could only say in amazement.

Beate Uhse’s run of memories was inevitably interrupted by a few quizzes. Unfortunately, Brandt only came to the question of 32,000 euros and he dropped out. She showed she had the right instincts. Because all the pranksters tended to have only the American flag on the moon. However, the Lidl branch manager had doubts and was satisfied with 16,000 euros. In fact, in 2020, China had brought a flag to the moon using an unmanned probe, as Jauch explained.

But Brandt could still relate how a drunken customer once wanted to feast on an inflatable rubber doll in the store’s basement. Fortunately, the inflation took so long that the man was stopped by the police and taken to the police station. The police came not a minute too soon: “He was about to, the pants were already down.”

“Do you know S.M.?”

The story of how a co-worker had to batter a devoted customer’s butt with a paddle was relatively tame. “Do you know S.M.?” The Hanoverian asked the moderator just to be sure. Jauch made an approving sound. When it came to sadomasochistic accessories, he wanted to contribute something with “plush handcuffs”. But then he met the expert’s pity: “Everyone does that.” “Thanks for the advice,” said the moderator.


Even with three and a half university degrees, the 64,000 euro question for Marco was over.

Jauch was also well instructed by Munich overhang candidate Fabienne Marco. However, the story did not end well for the research assistant “with three and a half university education”. She continued the losing streak with two crashes from the previous show. In the end, the academic was just a little overconfident about her knowledge and her luck. The supposed superiority was repeatedly felt by Jauch.

“You’ve been doing the show for 20 years,” Marco jokingly admonished the moderator when he made a minor inaccuracy. Jauch took the sting loosely. After the previous broadcast, he read in the press that he had fooled himself in front of an extremely witty person, he reports. “Mr. Jauch, that’s up to you and not me,” Marco replied.

WWM: Academic Crashes

Perhaps that’s why Jauch ultimately lacked the last bit of motivation to save the candidate from the trap. She liked to gamble successfully round after round without using a joker. But the demand for 64,000 euros was the end of it. Marco must know what, among other things, must be made fraud-proof with a so-called matrix code since the beginning of 2021: car registration plates, stamps, vaccination cards or labels with the best before date.

The mathematician discovered that this security measure only makes sense for vaccination certificates. She logged the answer without using her last joker. But the correct answer was stamps. “I thought it was logical”, Marco mourned after her fall to 500 euros. Jauch encouraged her because of her academic merits: “I don’t think we need to worry about you.”

The final candidate in this edition of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” seems to have it for now. Jörn Lenschow from Tinnum op Sylt works as a freelance tiler on the North Sea island. “We are fully booked. We are no longer taking orders,” he responded to Jauch’s question about the shortage of skilled workers. This job guarantee did little to calm the 53-year-old’s fluttering nerves. “He’s ready,” his fiancée confirmed in the audience. “Buy yourself a rubber doll!” Jauch joked at one point on the show. The candidate waved it off: “I already had it.” He will return next Monday with the question of 32,000 euros.

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